Definition of anger: Anger is the feeling of unease about someone or something that leads you to respond back with an uncontrolled reaction that is regretted afterwards.
This is the brief definition about anger. A person who gets angry quickly can be easily fooled that he doesn’t angry and what he did when he reacted upon anger is the right thing to be done. This person wishes to find ways not to get angry again because he knows when he gets angry everything around him gets messed and he regret what he did sooner or later.
Many ways that talk about dealing with anger explain ways of relaxing and how to take a deep breath or to count from 1 to 10 before taking an action based on anger but they never talk about dealing with the source of anger and how not to engage in anything that make a person angry and this what this post will talk about, how to deal with anger from its source.
Many people believe that facing their problems is one way to solve them and this belief occurs clearly when they face an anger problem from a person that makes them feel uncomfortable or pissed off, facing problems to solve them is with no doubt something that should be done but the time it comes for a person and the feeling of being determined about it when he is angry is the wrong time to consider facing problems. (See also How To Deal With People You Hate)
Anger and aggression – which is the action that is taken upon being angry – are phases that is preceded with feeling uncomfortable or pissed off and this is the phase when you should take actions rather than taking actions in the next phases.
I always believed in facing problems and the best time for this is in its mean time, this belief occurred clearly when I start feeling uncomfortable about someone who is talking to me in a non-decent way, I thought that continuing my talk with this person is a way to face this person and to face the problem that occurred in my thoughts but this was an incorrect belief.
I realized that triggering the time when I feel uncomfortable and start reacting upon it by stopping the source of this feeling is the way not to reach anger.
I started triggering this feeling and when it occurs and then stop it from getting bigger by moving away from the source that is making it bigger. I never accuse my peer – which is the source – for my feeling of be uncomfortable and stop him from what he is doing but what I did is to stop listening, acting upon or being attached to this person from the very beginning when I feel uncomfortable.
It is like moving a flame away from gas not to make the fire grow.
Your actions over you anger is never a solution for the problem that occurs if your anger is uncontrollable. You should trigger your feeling of feeling uncomfortable from its beginning not to fall in the anger phase which can turn into aggression.
Also one of the essential ways of dealing with anger is to talk about your feelings when you are angry and this can be hardly done when you are angry enough to lose some friends or relationships when you share your angry feelings with them that’s why you can do this in Trial and Error Academy which is your place to have help for your problems by sharing you angry feelings and have the required help.
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