How to Track your Personal Defects for Ultimate Social Success (Part one)

Due to the highly importance of social success subject, it will be on two parts and this post is part one of it.

Socializing was always a big part of my thinking, I feel I like to socialize more than my friends, I like to let people who I know, know each other's as well, as I feel it will be more fun to have whom I love in one place. I was always a nice guy to everyone and don't like to offend or feel that anyone is unpleased or unhappy from me, I used to do everything that my peer ask me to do to always make them happy and satisfied from me. (See also How To Be Intelligent)

I always believed that treating people nice is something I cannot give in, because I do not like anyone to treat me in a bad manner or in a way that I don't like. This belief even made me give in some of my rights and let some people cross the limits with their bad treatments.

It was astonishing for me to receive bad treatment from people around me that I tried to please, also I wondered how some people treat others this bad with my fears to treat me the same way, and blaming people was always my answer for my social success.

  • People have no common sense.
  • People need to know more about nice treatment.
  • People know nothing about etiquette or any humane protocols.
  • People are not quite educated.
  • Many others that blame people that they miss something.

One vague question keep popping my head, which is "WHY?!". 

It was hard for me to find some help talking about "how to treat people", it was more like "how to treat - the name of the person - ", because every person has different way of treatment, and I felt it was complicated enough to find something that heal my questioning.

Many things I stumbled upon were to categorize people upon what they say or their gesture or posture, this kind of self-help information was so hard to apply on real life, and instantaneous reply to real life situation was just impossible, it was like, "just give me one minute to revise which kind of personality you are and I'll be right back with the right response", obviously, this wasn't the solution.

The self-help that I am talking about are, body language, types of personality, communication skills... etc. they all tend not to work with me!.

How to Track your Personal Defects for Ultimate Social Success

I started doing my personalized homework, simply, to make an inventory of my day at the end of the day and why I respond this way when my peer treated me that way, and from here my life journey of tracking defects for social success started. (See also How to Be Successful in Life)

It was more my personalized perspective for my personal defects rather than analyzing my peer personality to find which suitable kind of treatment for him or her.

I realized that my reactions to my peer actions that are sourced from my personal defects, are not the right treatment for people around me.

What are Personal Defects?

Personal defects are the bad traits of the person's personality that he or she needs not to act or react upon it, like:-

  • Personal inferiority: it is the same when someone react to his or her peer upon the feeling that his/her peer has something that he/she doesn't have, his/her reaction might weaken building better relationship with his/her peer, for example, when a girl react to her peer in a non-friendly way upon her feeling of inferiority that her peer has better gold necklace, this reaction might weaken your social success.
  • Social insecurities: it is the same when a person react aggressively to a stranger that stop him/her by in the street to ask a question, another example, when some parents ask their son or daughter about where did he or she spend his/her day with his/her friends, he or she starts reacting aggressively if he or she has social insecurities, reacting in a way that is NOT built upon his/her social insecurity, will return to the person to more social security and feeling more safe around people.
  • Sexual insecurity: it is the same when someone receives a certain action as his or her peer is acting in a sexual seductive way and start reacting upon this thought; tracking his or her sexual insecurity and reacting in a way that is not built on it, will make the conversation more respectable and more positive to both sides. (See also 5 Ways Porn Affects Your Concentration)
  • Materialistic insecurity: this includes money in buying potential, it is the same when someone pay money based on materialistic insecurity emotions, in other words, it is when someone spend money upon his or her feelings that he can't pay in a specific time - or feeling shameful to say no -, for example, when ordering food at work, sometimes it is hard to say no not to feel he/she can't afford buying, since everyone at work - for instance - will order from that restaurant; tracking materialistic insecurity and reacting oppositely, in a manner that is not based on materialistic insecurities, will help him or her spend money consciously and in more social building attitude.

Since personal defects is a broad subject that can't be finished in one post, the next post will continue talking about personal defects and how to track and avoid them, keep tuned wishing you ultimate social success.

Misunderstood, feeling and being lonely, socializing using mood changers drinks or drugs, feeling empty, exerting so much effort to look impressive and worth knowing, being shy or self-indulged, fear of talking and being socially rejected are all symptoms of failing socially. The Ultimate Social Success Guide have a life changing simple principles for a complicated problem that will help you return back to norm and spend your best time around people which is the need of anyone who want to succeed personally and professionally in life.

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